24 January 2008

I'm so tired of this. Our house isn't even on the market yet. The houses we can afford in Calgary are, well..... ugh.
I suppose, though, I'm just worn out from a very busy couple of weeks. It was only two weeks ago that our reno people popped in to scope out our little project-in-the-making. It was only last week that the bathroom reno started, while Paul was in Calgary. And I took my first truly relaxing bath in this house, today, in the new tub! It was only last weekend that I was in Calgary, figuring out where we didn't want to live. So, progress is there. I'm just fixated on what I see as the finish line. Which it isn't.

"To all perfection, I see a limit." I love how that nugget of truth checks me. It's so true of me, that I set up an end, a goal as my idea of "after that, it will all be better." It never is, because life always goes on, circumstances always change and there is always something new to be done, to learn and to see. I, in my humanity, will always see perfection as a limit, something with a definite end.
There will be no definitive end to this journey. I must remember that the limits I see are but road markers, showing how far I've come and hinting at how far I've yet to go. *GASP* *PANT* *PANT*

The kids. Some days they show such resilience to this crazy process and to my distraction. Nathan even went to his soccer practice without a complaint. Emily stayed home without a complaint. It was all very strange. I wonder what will happen tomorrow? (Cue the forboding music.)

Oh great. Paul just read the bracketed comment above and started making noises of the suspence thriller sort. I tried not to roll my eyes. I doubt I succeeded.

There is a reason why I don't normally blog at night.

WAAAAAY too GRUMPY. And I make too many spellig mistakes. (No spelling mistake intended...but one was obviously made.)

Oh, I see it is the other side of midnight. Time for bed.

Ah, just remembered a happy moment. Nathan, as he tumbled in the door after his soccer practice, exclaimed, " Mommy, there are STARS out tonight!!!". His face was glowing and his eyes were full of those stars he had seen. It was beautiful. I've just finished reading a book, Seeker of Stars, in which the main character lived, breathed, ate and didn't sleep for his love of stars. I think I might read it to Nathan. I saw something in him tonight that makes me think this fascination with stars is more that a typical 6 year old interest.

That, my friends, is all, for now.

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